The Zen of Relationships

Finding a balance is the key to living simply.

I have always taken life as it comes, living freely, flowing with the present. I enjoy the freedom of spontaneity. The only importance being the here and now. Together, Greg and I provide the perfect balance to our relationship and to our lifestyle. He teaches me to be grounded, to remember to water my roots. I teach him to be air, to remember life is a breeze. With this balance, we have managed to create a life of our own choosing. A life of self given freedom, our only responsibilities being the nourishment of our happiness.

We have spent the past two years traveling together continuously, over a hundred thousand miles across our beautiful homeland, down to the Caribbean, across the seas to 12 different European countries. Our budget consisting of the basic necessities of food and gas. We spent our time investing in Recreational vehicles, traveling the country while fixing them up, then re-selling them to do it all over again. We have done seasonal work at different places in beautiful areas. Giving ourselves the opportunity to work hard and play harder, exploring new landscapes that we have never been to.

Throughout this experience we have been together 24 hours a day, deepening our connection beyond imagination. We have pushed each other beyond our self imposed limits; we have challenged each other to face our greatest fears. We have grown into something I never thought possible.

Most people would find a relationship like ours suffocating, being together all day, everyday. But for me, it has been the greatest learning experience. Learning about myself, my partner and what it truly means to love someone unconditionally. Even in moments of frustration, we recognize that we are all in, together. It’s hard to remain flustered with one another when we’re together all the time, we have to communicate. With there being no barriers between us, it makes communication much easier. Which in a sense is liberating, all of those little things that eat away at relationships, such as, anxiety, jealousy, fear are practically nonexistent.

People tend to believe that a relationship like ours requires tons of self-sacrifice. In some ways it does and in some ways it doesn’t. When you’re with someone who knows you as well as you know yourself, you can balance your needs much better. There is harmony in understanding when your significant other needs space and respecting that space. Even though we are together, we are our own entities first. It’s important to retain self-identity in relationships, most people tend to lose themselves in the other person which begins to build feelings of resentment. If you begin your relationship as a whole uniting into two, rather than a half uniting into one, you can carry your relationship a great distance. & that is how we thrive, showing up for ourselves as well as showing up for each other.

In this experience I have come to the realization, that each and everyone of us is our own creator. We create our happiness, we create our own magic. The best way to begin, is by finding your balance and I have found mine.

We as human beings, create the paths we walk in our lives. We are never truly bound by burden, for we are more than bone and flesh; we are soul. Once we open our eyes and see there is more to being than the physical aspects, we begin to let go. In letting go, we receive everything we’ve ever wanted. There will always be people who disagree and that just means this lifestyle is not for them. To each their own, do what makes you happy and always remember that it is possible if you, yourself, allow it to be.

I used to take life way too seriously. I thought, planned, and manipulated my time to benefit a future goal. Always stuck in the idea of what was next rather than enjoying the present situations before me. It left me tired, drained, unsatisfied. Even in the midst of a workaholic mindset I was always looking toward an escape. Working toward my interpreted freedom. So much has changed in the last few years that I had to stop and reflect, pause and analyze how I got here to this point.

I look at my life now and see an incredibly new, unique, and enthralling world that I otherwise may have never looked at on my own. I came to the conclusion that what separated the then, to the now, was finding a balance, a rhythm within love. This balance, like a covalent bond, is inherent in a loving relationship. We share ourselves equally to one another, without compromise or neglect to the self. Tyema has shared her keen sense of presence with me; a virtue that I am most thankful to learn and adapt into my life. I have learned to step back from myself in degrees and allow her energy to balance my once overbearing lifestyle. Learning to mesh it all together in order to embrace as well as prepare.

Our relationship is unique to many in the regard that we spend every moment together. When I think about it, I cannot envision a life beyond this feeling. It seems innate that we were meant to live, work, play and be together through all our life. As if everything in my past has been a build up to this moment. All the stress that I created for myself melted when my soulmate unveiled behind the curtain of my subconscious and entered the foreground. I believe that when we find our true love that it isn’t a matter of completing each other, as if we are half a soul waiting to be one; rather we are one and one who compliment each other and create a “third” being. Together we are the “third” that tips the scale of our own identity and bring a harmonious balance. First we live for ourselves, and then we live for each other. We never mask who we really are, nor do we attempt to suppress the other’s desires or needs. We understand and acknowledge that we are both uniquely different in our own respect.

When I came to the realization that we never lose ourselves and only aspire to bring out the best in each other, all of my inhibitions ceased. Life became simple and beautiful again. I see now that balance is irrefutably vital in all facets of life. When you can remain thoughtful, understanding, creative, contemplative, patient, true to yourself and the world around you, then you know freedom of self; a balance love, light, and happiness.

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